Limping to the outdoor gym every day with the dogs (Faith has 2 Yorkies) to do some arm presses even if not the leg ones, slowly getting more mobility. The good rain yesterday (20 Dec) has cleared the air of desert dust, clear sky, sharp horizons. So I guess the burning bush pilgrims went to Har Karkom for the winter solstice afterall (today), the one day in the year when the sun lights up the entrance to a small cave on the western cliff-edge of the Karkom Plateau and which two guys (one a Negev tour guide) say is the burning bush, but of course it isn’t. To get a ride to Karkom today, free or not, I would have had to ask the tour guide with whom I had memorable conflict in 2018, so I didn’t even try to contact him. With a stiff knee I would not be able to climb the mountain anyway, or even walk far in the campground, which would be too frustrating, so have instead made a start on this methodology paper.
On the 18th I emailed my profs to ask re the path forward; prof 1 suggested I send them a 10 page methodology and a sample of my Kadesh-to-Jordan chapter (the last of the 3 stages of the Israelite journeys, already in draft, 67k words). I was relieved to get this directive, gives me a familiar goal, and even though the concept of methodology still bewilders and alarms me (surely it's just logic?!) I have by now written several such pieces (which met requirements) and can edit them together into one that is relevant to this specific project. Feels strange to be starting with proposal and methodology again as for a thesis/dissertation, but also reassuring that this is the first step and that if I keep taking steps I will get through. The worst part of this immense project was restarting it (for 2 years I couldn’t make myself get back into it which is why I am here), so it now feels doable. My wheels are on the rails.
But in reading through this K-J chapter which I left in draft in early 2020 to change my dissertation topic (to come within wordcount limits), I see that the refs to the EBA as the Canaanite era and the IBA as exodus-wanderings-conquest-judges era are a lot more frequent and extensive than I recalled. I thought it was mostly just the sections about the king of Arad in the EBA, and that I could delete those bits or frame them diffidently as if they are only peripheral or supplementary to the itinerary case. But there are also sections on the Kenites and Amalekites which rely on a revised chronology, and more besides. So now I don’t know if/when/how to come clean to the profs re my chronology views, or just omit those sections from the start and not bother them with it. For now I am just highlighting them in yellow, and leaving them there. The chapter sample I send will be only the first few sections which set the task.
To come to Israel to do this project I had to choose faith that it would work out despite all obstacles, but the profs will almost certainly not be able to allow let alone accept an alternative chronology. If I were writing a PhD dissertation I could omit anything just to meet requirements, but this is my own comprehensive work I started in 1998 and want to complete and publish with the full solution, and I would be cheating myself and readers if I don’t put it all out there. The historical connections are some of the strongest arguments for the proposed itineraries, particularly the Arad/Hormah sections. So especially at night I have anxiety about this, and wonder how God will untangle these knots. For now I will just do this methodology and take one step at a time.
Making my sourdough bread for us all, made a new choc cake recipe with olive oil (!), Faith says the taste can be masked if I add orange zest or juice, but I don’t mind it. In a hostel I would have fewer temptations to do anything other than write and no-one to please but myself. But it would also be lonely… or not… I loved those first 12 days alone. The moshav (compared to the Shuq) is safe and peaceful, the Negev is more relevant to my topic, and Faith is making me speak Hebrew for a couple of sessions a day. But Jerusalem!… and Christ Church!… so its all pros and cons, and as my GP friend in Aust says, I may just have to live in the grey. Maybe I can come and go, give us all some time apart, get the best of both worlds. And pray that the way forward for both living and writing will become clear by taking just one step at a time. Which it has so far, for nearly 30 years, despite all my anxiety and procrastination.
Solstice sunset from the Negev, profile of Jebel Halal (one of the candidates for Mount Sinai) in Northern Sinai. The black line is just a cable, but the farthest faint white line with the camera towers is the border.